A Schedule: Will it trap me or free me?

I have been reading a devotional titled "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young.  It's been quite good.  My husband got it for me for Christmas and it's the version with space to journal.  As the space is not big enough for what happens normally when I begin to write things, I decided to use that space to write down the Scripture references given for each day. 

A friend asked me to join a "Good Morning Girls" group where we share what we've been reading in God's Word via email.  I share those Scripture references I've written down and sometimes a part of my devotional reading if it has struck a chord with me.  

I often have several blog posts "swirling" around in my head, but usually wait until I have time to do so.  There have been occasions when, regardless of time, I have to sit down and write something so that God will "release me" from thinking about it any more.  Yesterday I had jotted down the "titles" to about a half dozen of these "phantom posts."  Apparently the one about schedules needed to be written NOW, because what follows is what came out when I was typing my "Good Morning Girls" email tonight.  I hope you enjoy reading it!

Here are some of the highlights of my devotional reading:

"It is easy to make an idol of routine, finding security within the boundaries you build around your life."

"Don't try to force-fit today into yesterday's mold. Instead,ask Me to open your eyes, so you can find all I have prepared for you in this precious day of Life."

These two provide an interesting dilemma or challenge to me. My "default" is to have no routine, except that which is necessary or when planning for a particular event. In other words, I lean more toward being spontaneous in what we do. Usually I will have some thoughts rolling around in my head and then when the mood strikes, I'll announce my idea and assume everyone else will happily agree!

Homeschooling has forced me out of this mindset in order to be more efficient with the time allotted to each day. I began sketching out a "schedule" back in 2007 or 2008 when we first embarked on this adventure. It was a very general one, which often went more by the order in which we did certain things, rather than assigning a time to said things or tasks.

As time has gone on, our schedules have progressed to actually include times. In fact, my current schedule has something assigned to almost every half hour from 7:30 in the morning to 8 in the evening. To be honest, this is very difficult for me. Some days it makes me feel trapped, but other days it sets me free.  On days where I feel unmotivated, my schedule helps to keep us relatively productive, even when my brain feels like mush.

I have now printed out a schedule for my two children. I began to notice that when they knew what the day would bring, they did better. As I thought about that aspect of having a schedule, I realized that to my children, they may have never really knew what would happen next.

I realized that they were getting ideas about what they wanted to do at various times throughout the day (particularly my daughter who has similar leanings as myself) and when I told them it was time to do something, it would often lead to controversy (and sometimes worse). It didn't matter that we did the same thing every day, possibly at the same time. To them, their "plays" were being interrupted with no rhyme or reason.

So, while I sometimes feel "trapped" by a schedule, my children know what to expect and that makes things go more smoothly. I also have the authority to make changes to our schedule in case something comes up. I value flexibility and our schedule reflects that. I want to be available in case a friend needs help, my husband comes home early from work, or we just need to go to the zoo (or sometimes meet friends at the "play" McDonald's for lunch).

I have also "built" in cushions for those times of the day that I know (from experience) could take longer than I've planned. Some of these times include our morning routine (from waking up to starting our core studies) and our lunch and quiet time break. This helps me to remain a little less stressed or frustrated if we wake up late or if there's more "daydreaming" and less school work being done.

Once again, know that you are not alone on this journey.  We must join together in what God has called us to do.  As Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  I can honestly say that it has only been with Jesus that I have been able to come this far in my ability to stay on task.  He has shown me how "freeing" a schedule can be.

On Being a Wife...

I have joined Beth Moore and the rest of the Siesta Scripture Memory Team to memorize 24 Scripture passages in 2011.  See the Living Proof Ministries blog if you're interested:  http://blog.lproof.org/.

In late December I was thinking of at least a handful of verses to start off the year.  Most had to do with becoming a new creation and putting the old behind.  I had thought of one or two which spoke to what it meant to be a wife, but it was more of a passing thought.

With only a few days left to decide (our verses are posted on the 1st and 15th of each month), I used biblegateway.com to look up 1 Peter 3:5-6 in several different translations.  When I read the Amplified one, it really "amplified" in my head.  Though I resisted a bit, I knew this would be the first one for me to memorize in 2011.  

I had recently been visiting with a friend about what the Lord had been doing in my life and she pointed out that He had been teaching me about obedience.  I've been getting the distinct feeling that He's taking me to a new level regarding obedience in 2011...

Here is 1 Peter 3:5-6 Amplified (I'm typing from memory, so feel free to check me!):

"For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were [accustomed] to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands [adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them].

It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [followed his guidance and acknowledged his headship over by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority).

And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you]."

When I first copied this down, I underlined the part which says "to them."  As I kept reading it over, I eventually wrote myself above each "themselves" and him above each "them."  It would read "adapting myself to him as myself secondary and dependent upon him."  Sometimes I'll even use my husband's name instead of "him" when saying it. Then one day I read it and thought, "This is just the opposite way many women approach marriage."  

How often do we hear men say, "She liked me just the way I was before we married and now she just wants to change me."?  

How often have (or do) our own husbands felt (or feel) that way?  Ouch, that question hurts.

In this verse, however, we are told that the pious women of old did the opposite.  In fact, when they wanted to make themselves beautiful, they changed according to their husbands ways!  That means WE are the ones to do the changing, NOT them.

Please let me clarify something.  This does not mean we should do something our husband is doing if it is ungodly.  In the verses preceding the ones above we read:

"Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,  when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.  Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." 1 Peter 3:1-4 NIV

To me this implies we should live according to God's Word, whether our husbands believe the Word or not.  We should, however, be careful not to be the "nagging" wife husband's are warned about in Proverbs.  There are too many to list, but if you type in "wife" in biblegateway.com and then scroll down to those which are in Proverbs, you'll see what I mean.  Men are warned that it's better to live on the corner of a roof and in the desert than to live with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.  

You would think that was enough learning for my first memory verse of the year, but the last part spoke volumes to me as well:  "not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you."  I don't know about you, but I often "rebel" against my husband the most when I feel as if I know a situation better than he does.  When it comes down to it, my mind begins racing ahead with "what if" scenarios, most of which do not have good endings.  I must also admit that most often these situations have to do with our children, as I'm convinced I know them better than anyone else, including my husband.  

Maybe you can see it now.  I trust him with the "safe" things, but if things get out of that "safe zone" I begin taking over.  Why?  Usually it's because I'm giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties (what if...) unnerve me!

So, if you have had any thoughts like mine, please know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  If you have not, then please pray for me to be the kind of wife my husband needs and my God wants me to be.  Actually, you can pray that for me either way.  I just said a quick prayer for all of you reading this, that you would be the wife your husband needs and that God wants you to be.  Blessings!

Mommy "Moments"...You are NOT alone!

An interesting conversation came about at the start of one of the classes I teach at our "Monday classes."  (That is our term for the home school co-op we are involved with.)  One of the moms mentioned the last post and how much she appreciated it.  We were laughing about how we may have a "slight tendency" to want to be in control.  (Noooo! : )  Anyway, I said that I have found that no matter how "good" or "sinless" someone appears to be, we all have the sin of pride in common.  When it comes down to it, we all have some things we want our own way!  And that translates to pride.

I discovered this a few years ago (as I mentioned in the previous post) as I read and prayed through the Scripture prayers in the book Praying God's Word by Beth Moore.  This is a brief recount of how things went when I started that book (okay, as brief as my detailed side can be).  


The first chapter is on overcoming idolatry.  I thought it might be interesting to read, but wasn't sure how applicable it would be.  Then I began to read it.  I thought, hmmm, maybe I do have a few issues with this.  One that really spoke to me was taken from Acts 17:24-28.  I've copied that passage from the NIV below:



 ²⁴"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. ²⁵And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. ²⁶From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. ²⁷God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ²⁸'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'

The second chapter is on overcoming unbelief.  Again, as I began to read it, I thought it would be interesting, but wasn't sure how applicable it would be.  Would you like to guess what happened when I started to read it?  Yep, more issues.  

One of the most interesting things I've read from Beth Moore is her describing the difference in believing IN God and BELIEVING God.  Here is a quote from her book regarding a conversation she had with the Lord.  She said that the Lord adamantly said, "I didn't ask you to believe in Me.  I asked you to believe Me." (page 34)  Here are a few of my favorite prayers from this section:

"Faith is not believing in my own unshakable belief.  Faith is believing an unshakable God when everything in me trembles and quakes." (page 44)


"Father, please bring strong believers into my life so that we may be mutually encouraged by one another's faith. (Rom. 1:12)" (page 47)


"Lord God, please place someone in my path as needed who will continue with me for my progress and joy in the faith. (Phil. 1:25)"

The next chapter was on overcoming pride.  You already know what I was thinking, and what I discovered, I had pride issues.  Not just a few either, a lot.  Everywhere I turned I seemed to discover more areas where this was a problem.  (It would be more true to say "turn" instead of turned.)  I've already mentioned the verse from Ecclesiastes.  Here are a few others which spoke to me (especially in conversing with my husband):


"Father, You're teaching me that pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.  (Prov. 13:10)  Help me to discern the pride that is involved when I am quarrelsome."  (page 61)

"Father, You are calling upon me to be completely humble and gentle; to be patient, bearing with others in love.  (Eph. 4:2)  Please empower me with Your Spirit to be obedient to this command." (page 66)


You get the idea, I'm sure.  The fourth chapter was on overcoming deception.  I will share one of the prayers which I included in my "prayer cards" from this chapter:


"Lord God, surely You desire truth in my inner parts; You teach me wisdom in the inmost place.  (Ps. 51:6)  Please expose to me the deeply embedded lies I've believed and replace them with permanently engraved truth." (page 76)


To get back to my earlier conversation, we began to share with each other about our "other self."  You know, the one only our children see.  (Yes, that is a sobering thought for me too.)  Aside from the Lord, they are the ones who see ALL of us, aren't they?


Then we each shared how it was hard to believe another of the moms in that room could have a "moment" like that.  Some of the comments were how peaceful, organized, together, etc. another mom seemed.  Then a "gem" was shared.  One mom said something like, that must be a lie of the enemy to believe that someone else has everything together.  


This made me pause and think of how many times I've been in the middle of a "moment" with my children (or even my husband) and think, surely so-and-so wouldn't be speaking to her children this way.  Or surely so-and-so wouldn't have a conversation like this with her husband.  I'm learning that this is simply not true!  It is indeed a lie that the enemy tells us!

We all have "moments," though it's certainly true that as we grow closer to Christ these moments should decrease, not increase.  But we're human.  Sometimes it's when I have those moments that I realize how much I need a Savior.  It's also been the start of some good conversations with my children.  We all make mistakes.  We all need Jesus.  

In my "moment" I've demonstrated why God's way is the best way.  It also offers me a chance to apologize to them and ask for their forgiveness.  Think of the modeling I'm doing!  (I have to admit, though, I don't usually savor those moments and would much rather model other behavior!)  Again, we are showing our children that we're human, not perfect.  We show them how to humble ourselves before those we've hurt as well as before the Lord.  My prayer is that my children will continue to strive to be more like Jesus each day.  However, when they stumble, I hope that they will humble themselves before the Lord and those they may have hurt and allow Jesus to help them back up to try again.


To close, I'd like to leave you with this reminder from Hebrews 12:1-3, keeping in mind that God has marked you to be a mom to your children and a wife to your husband. 


 ¹Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. ²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.  
Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV

 You are not alone in this race!