More To the Point...I Hope

I ought to have put the following at the beginning of the last post:

"Caution: Rambling Road Ahead"

After hitting publish on the last post, I kept thinking about how much I rambled. This post will hopefully get to the point and stay there.

As we went through the difficulty of considering leaving one church family in search of another, many things went through my mind. I wanted to find another church home where we could "settle down." I thought of leaving our old home for a "new" one. I wondered how long we would be in this home...I hoped our children would finish their "growing up years" here.

But then I would hear the chorus to the song, “Where I Belong.” This is NOT where I belong. My real home is in heaven. In my heart, I yearn to be able to put down roots, to know that THIS is where our children will grow up. To know that THIS is the church our princess will be married in. To know that THIS is where we will house our grandchildren. The problem is, THIS is NOT my home.

Paul says this in his letter to the Philippians:

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

Philippians 3:20-21, NIV84

If I am to “eagerly await” the time when Jesus comes again, I can not get too comfortable here in this world. The Lord has been removing many of my “comforts” to help me learn this Truth in a more “hands on” way over the past year. And while I've learned that air conditioning is a comfort I don't absolutely need. I've also learned that I ought not to get so comfortable with a church that I'm not willing to move when the Lord says, “Move!”

Does that mean I throw away the relationships from that church family? NO! Does it mean I am bitter toward that church family? NO! Does it mean I need to broaden my world? YES!

I thought of this before drifting off to sleep last night. Think of a box. A large box. Put a pinhole in the box. Look through the pinhole to see what's inside the box. How much can you see? What if you put a pencil size hole in the box? You could see more then, but you'd still be “blind” to parts of the box.

Now consider the maker of the box. He is inside of it and all around it. He sees every nook and cranny. That's our Lord. I need to trust His viewpoint, not mine. So while I look around the box through my pinhole wondering how this or that will work 10 or 15 years down the road, the Lord is saying, “Don't worry. I know things you don't. I've got a plan, and it's better than you could ever imagine.”

And every time I step out in faith and follow Him out of my comfort zone, my pinhole is enlarged ever so slightly. Why? Because I'm opening the eyes of my heart to see more from His perspective than mine.

For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood [by God].

1 Corinthians 13:12, Amplified

Plans, Promises, and I'm Not Home Yet

Plans...we make them...the Lord changes them. Or so it seems to be the case in my life over the past year. Wait...upon further thought...it's been happening a lot longer than a year. This afternoon I told a very good friend something hard for me to tell her. She wasn't surprised. Which I, of course, mused over for the rest of the afternoon.

The Lord has been teaching me in a variety of ways over the past year the truth to the lyrics of a song I've been singing for just as long...

All I know is I'm not home yet

This is not where I belong

Take this world and give me Jesus

This is not where I belong

Chorus from “Where I Belong” by Building 429

If you've read some of the past posts, you know that we moved to the country almost a year ago. Praise the Lord! It's been awesome. Challenging. Freeing. It's something we've talked about for a long time. A Dream. Come. True. I thought we'd only be changing our address. Silly me. The Lord seems to have had a much different idea of what this move would change.

Another homeschooling mom moved out to the country about 6 months before we did. She told me that when they did so, they decided that when they moved to the country...they would MOVE to the country. By that I mean leaving their church family and searching out a new one in the country. Not easy to do. I was impressed.

I reasoned that our life and outside activities would remain much the same...we'd just be driving a little farther (and be able to have a larger vegetable garden and chickens!). In our search for a home these were things we kept in mind as we chose which locations to look at. Doesn't that seem reasonable? I thought so.

Here are some of the plans we made and the Lord rearranged...

1.  Selling our home quickly became 6 months with two mortgages...during that time the Lord changed the way we did a few things...

• We dried all of our laundry on a clothesline for 5 weeks because the dryer was not working. The best comment was from a little boy in our lifegroup who was 6 at the time. He saw some rugs on the line and asked why they were hanging there. I told him they were drying. He said, “Why don't you just put them in the dryer?” Priceless... : )
• We began burning our trash and bringing our recycling into town on our own. My man is our family's recycling “sorter.”
• We survived without air conditioning in another hot, Kansas summer.
• We canceled our vacation plans a few weeks before we were supposed to leave, only to have it “rescheduled” a few days before we were supposed to leave thanks to the generosity of family.
• We found out our furnace stopped working with the first cold snap in early October. With our emergency fund near zero, we opted to use our wood stove and some space heaters to keep the house warm until we closed on our other house at the end of the month.
• We closed on our home on October 24^th, 2012 for less than we bought it for in 2005. And we were happy!

2.  Our plans of continuing at our church “in town” gave way to stepping down from our leadership of a children's church, attending a Messianic congregation that meets on Friday evenings, and visiting churches in our new community. (We've been going to one “across the street” since Christmas and have really enjoyed it. Lots of other homeschooling families and going through the Word systematically.)

3.  With the redirection in our church home, we also stopped meeting with our lifegroup. Another plan change we did not anticipate.

4.  We planned to have our chickens in the “lean to” which was already on the property. A week or two before closing on the house, we decided to build a new coop closer to the house. My husband's dad and stepmom came out with a few weeks notice and built a coop together.

5.  We planned to begin remodeling the kitchen, including a gas stove, as soon as possible.  Our plan now is to replace the bathtubs and flooring in the upstairs bathrooms along with the sink in the master bath.  

As I sang the song, “Where I Belong” during this time period, I would think about all of these changes. What hit me is how much we want to make things on this earth permanent. We want to stay in the same church. We want to stay in the same house. We want to know how long we're going to be somewhere. We want to “settle down.” We want to put down roots.

The Lord has been teaching me that I don't know the future. I don't know how long we'll be part of each church we worship at. I don't know how long we'll live in each house we move to. I don't know how long being a part of various groups will last. I don't know how long my life will last. Or that of my husband. My princess. Or my warrior.

I can make promises...but I'm learning that the Lord has the right to change them. That is hard for me, because I do NOT like to break my promises! In fact, I remember someone asking if we'd still be attending our church and leading the children's church and I said something like, “Of course we will. None of that will change!” It seems I made another promise years back that we would move back to the area I grew up in one day. Another promise broken...unintentionally. Why? Because I didn't know the plans the Lord had for us.

Thankfully, the Lord doesn't change His Promises. He Promises to be faithful. He Promises to bring good out of bad for those who love Him. He Promises to be with us when things are going well...and when they're not. He Promised a Messiah to the Israelites, the Jewish people...and He sent One. To them. And to us, the Gentiles. Praise the Lord!

Through this Messiah...He Promises to forgive our sins. He Promises to make us a new creation. He Promises to give us His Holy Spirit as a teacher...a Guide...a Helper. He Promises to set us apart for His Glory. He Promises us a new heaven and a new earth. Jesus is there now, preparing a place for us in His Father's House. He Promises us eternal life in this House...provided we have put this life on earth in His Hands...

So, if you look around and feel like this isn't your home, there is a reason for that. This is temporary. Our home. Our church home. Our social groups. Jesus is permanent. He is the only thing Solid enough to last through the changes in this life and into the next...

He is like a man building a house, who dug and went down deep and laid a foundation upon the rock; and when a flood arose, the torrent broke against that house and could not shake or move it, because it had been securely built or founded on a rock.

But he who merely hears and does not practice doing My words is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation, against which the torrent burst, and immediately it collapsed and fell, and the breaking and ruin of that house was great.

Luke 6:48-49, Amplified

Where is your home? I want mine to be on the Rock. Even if it means a lot of digging down deep...

An Overflowing Bathtub or Coffee Maker?

This morning, as I lay with my warrior with the hope of helping him go back to sleep, I was thinking, praying and asking God what I could do if he fell asleep, and I got up for the day. (In other words, if I didn't get back in my bed!) Laundry, cooking, and sewing went through my mind. I told Him, of course, I could always spend time with You, but I was trying to think of something Productive to do.

Yes, I answered Him, I KNOW spending time with You IS productive, and I LOVE to do that, in fact, I could do that while the rest of the house fell down around me! However, I don't think the Lord put me here to spend all day having quiet time with Him. Please hear me, sometimes I need to do that. And, as I mentioned, I can do that VERY WELL! However, if I do nothing but let Him pour into me, how am I glorifying Him?

This brought the passage from James to mind about having faith, but no good deeds. James 2:17 says, “In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” (NIV84) That is something the Lord has been teaching me lately. 1 Corinthians 13 has been resonating with me also.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.”

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 (NIV84)

[Aside: I DO need to be sure that I'm being filled by the Lord. If asked how one can change, I'd wave my hand frantically in the air and say it's His Word alone that gives you the power to change. Praying and memorizing Scripture is the best (possibly only) way to connect knowing what we ought to do (the “rules”) to our hearts in a way that makes obedience personal. It's His Word and abiding in His Word with every step you take that makes a difference in your life. I say this to be sure you all know that I'm not one to take lightly the idea of spending quiet time with the Lord daily. I'll move on now...]

I could go on (okay, I did a little), but that's not where my thinking and praying led me. As I thought of overflowing the God's love and Spirit, a bathtub overflowing with water and bubbles came to mind. What good does that type of overflowing do? None, except to provide work for your hands! : )

I then asked the Lord to give me a better analogy. A coffee maker came to mind. Our coffee maker always has hot water in a reservoir, ready to brew some fresh, HOT coffee at a moment's notice. I put the FILTER in, then the grounds and slide the basket in above the carafe. Then I pour some fresh, cool water in the top of the coffee maker.

I don't swing the cover closed yet, because I've not put the pot under the basket to catch the coffee. There is no waiting for coffee, it will begin to “pour forth” as soon as I swing that cover closed! No, first I put some HOT water in the thermal carafe and swish it around. Why? Because when I heat up the carafe, the coffee stays hotter, longer! And I like that!

Once I put the carafe under the basket, I swing the reservoir cover closed and check the position of the carafe. I like it to drip right into the opening. The hot water sprays into the ground coffee, passes through the paper filter and into the carafe waiting below. In about 3 minutes, the coffee is ready to be poured out into my waiting mug!

I want to be like that water. First, I need to become hot - heated up - on fire - by the Holy Spirit. Next, I need to pass through the coffee grounds. Would that be the Word of God or bitter things in life? Maybe they represent the bitter things, the trials we've endured in life. Because the filter must be the Lord and His Word. Why? Because He filters out all those grounds, only allowing the water, now flavored by those grounds (trials), to pass through into the carafe waiting below.

And at that point, you begin to smell the sweet aroma of coffee filling up your kitchen. Ready to be poured out for myself and others to enjoy. WOW! [The wow was what I felt as I realized what a good analogy the Lord had given me. Especially for the challenges we've faced over the past year!]

I am reminded of all the verses in Scripture which speak of trials in this world. But, Praise God, he will turn those trials into something with a good aroma, clear and good to drink IF we add a good quality filter. (You know, there are some filters which are too short and end up letting coffee grounds up and over the side right into the carafe. That's not a pleasant way to end a cup of coffee! I don't think we ought to use that kind of filter with life's trials either...do you?)

The best filter I know of is His Word. He's used it to filter out all kinds of things in my life! Jesus uses these words when praying for His disciples, shortly before being arrested: Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. John 17:17, KJV

Here is one of my favorite passages on living life, from the book of Psalms.

How can a young man keep his way pure?

By living according to your word.

I seek you with all my heart;

do not let me stray from your commands.

I have hidden your word in my heart

that I might not sin against you.

Praise be to you, O Lord;

teach me your decrees.

With my lips I recount

all the laws that come from your mouth.

I rejoice in following your statutes

as one rejoices in great riches.

I meditate on your precepts

and consider your ways.

I delight in your decrees;

I will not neglect your word.

Psalm 119:9-16, NIV84

Thank You, Jesus, for answering my prayer...now off to shower! (I wrote this in my journal this morning.)

P.S. The best coffee filter I know of starts with a B and ends with an N. I'm not advertising here, just telling of my experience.

P.P.S.  I guess this was the answer as to what Productive thing I could do when I got up!